I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My ass is underappreciated
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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