how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
