Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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