My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
operation harelip BJ is a go
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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