Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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