I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
