Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize