It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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