I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
