I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
