I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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