just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
