Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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