Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
