You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
