I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
