If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
