OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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