Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
