Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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