I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I woke up under a house in Key West
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