Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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