I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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