My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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