I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize