Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
