yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
