Having a random hookup so left but love u
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
