I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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