we have officially lost it.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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