apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
