Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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