Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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