I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
