I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
