pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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