so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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