is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
