you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
