I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
