I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
