Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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