Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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