Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
