I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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