is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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