A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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