dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
