We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
