didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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