I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
