R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
