the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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