she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
