Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
