ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
