is wine microwaveable?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
