shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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