so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
