Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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