We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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