hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
