I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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