dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
