Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
